I’ve always lived by the motto to never vent on the internet.
Today I’m breaking my motto. I’m breaking a rule, because, “Rules were meant to be broken,” right??
Besides, there’s only a slight chance I’ll actually publish this post.
Why am I so tired?
Yes, I know, I know all the common answers. You’re a mom of four, who homeschools and keeps a household running. Well, let me tell you. My kids are a lot of work, but, really they sleep 12 hours a night and two of them take naps in the afternoon. “But thats when you get all of your work done.” Nope! I do all of my cleaning and housework while they’re awake and running around my legs. I don’t spend my days, “Chasing my kids.” They go about their lives with a few interruptions from me to keep our household in a good rhythm and routine. Many times I’ve put the younger two down for naps and told the other two to play a video game or watch a movie quietly while I try to get some rest. Why on Earth is it so hard to just do that more often?
Why do I feel Lazy?
I read an article entitled “Lazy parenting” a couple of weeks ago, basically outlining how to create a safe space for your kids then step back and let them just “be.” For a while. I’m sorry, that pretty much describes my entire life of parenting. So does that make me a lazy parent? I don’t remember my mom being in on every conversation, play time, and moment. Am I really supposed to interject myself into their every moment? Would that make me a “hard working parent?”
My husband is always talking about his mom was awake and going about her day by the time they woke up. I’ve also heard many women harp on how amazing and peaceful it is to have that time to yourself in the morning. I’ve tried it! It’s not peaceful when all you want to do is crawl back into those comfortable sheets and lay your head back down on those sweet smelling pillows and dream about whatever your subconscious can come up with.
Why should I struggle with Mom guilt that I’m not doing more with my children? Why do I struggle with just the regular, every day guilt that I’m not accomplishing more in my day to day?
Maybe you know the answer, maybe you feel the same way. Either way, thanks for letting me just vent!